Novel Bin Chapter 238 - No Desires
Zaos had noticed a few weird things along the trip back, but he thought it was just him overthinking since he was feeling a bit weird since he woke up. Now that he thought about it, he had been feeling weird since that day that they saw the storm while chasing the enemy fleet.
Zaos tried to ignore all those small details that bothered him a little because he always had been the type who overthink things when his mother is involved. Even the odd behavior of the guards in front of the mansion, but somehow, deep down, he knew that he would never be the same. He didn\'t enter his home. He headed straight to the place where he had one of the last conversations with Lyra. The place where he had spent many mornings with his mother enjoying the weather and the smell of the flowers. She didn\'t lie… she said that she would wait for him right there and there she was.
America and Drannor felt a nod forming in their throats. Zaos loved his mother more than anything in his life. He almost died many times so that he could see her a few days sooner. Drannor knew how much he bothered Commander Ruvyn so he could have a few weeks off to see his mom and then show her that he was fine… in the end, there was nothing he could do for him. Ameria tried to approach him, but Drannor stopped her.
"Don\'t," Drannor said. "We can only leave him alone for the time being."
Zaos still was screaming while hugging the tombstone and crying tears of blood. They couldn\'t bother him right now… they needed to let Zaos mourn as much as he can because he just lost the most important pillar of his life.
Erean didn\'t know Zaos for long, but he knew how much he was determined in his research. He didn\'t care about money like most mages. He didn\'t need it. So, he could imagine how much he loved the person that it had been buried there. In the end, they left the residence and the area in total silence.
Eventually, Zaos couldn\'t cry anymore, but he kept hugging the tombstone even while it was raining. The rain was slowly sapping away his strength, but he stayed there while hiccupping for three days straight. His father and the people in the mansion saw him a few times, but they couldn\'t approach or say anything to him. However, after three days of heavy rain, a new shining morning came, and they didn\'t find him in the garden. That being said, some of the maids felt wet footsteps inside the mansion that led to Zaos\'s room. He stayed curled up there for an entire day, but the next day, as soon as the sun rose, he went to the garden to do his morning training.
"Good morning, mom…" Zaos said. "I am sorry for not being here when you needed me most. I am sorry for failing you, and I am sorry for behaving like that as soon as I returned. Despite being this much pathetic, I hope that you can keep watching over me."
Zaos began to train because that was the only thing he could do now to cope with the pain. Although he wished that he could have protected his mother, apparently, that voice wasn\'t referring to her, so he still had a job to do in that world. At some point, Zaos\'s father appeared and was heading to work, but he decided to stop near where Zaos was.
"How do you feel?" Laiex asked.
"How do you think?" Zaos asked while frowning.
"I won\'t tell you how to deal with your feelings right now, but you should worry about how the others around are feeling as well," Laiex said. "Your friends need to know that you are moving forward, and you also need to give your report to the king."
"I will do that later," Zaos said.
"… It happened around forty days ago. I heard that you were chasing the fleet of the enemy that tried to kill you and many others during the party," Laiex said. "At first, it seemed like just a slightly stronger cold, but after a while, your mother\'s condition worsened, and she slowly lost her strength. She just felt really weak, but she didn\'t complain about any pain. She passed away after staying one week unconscious."
Zaos closed his eyes and then took a deep breath. He was afraid of asking how his mother died, but at least she didn\'t suffer all that much. That was a relief… in the end, it happened just as Zaos had suspected, on the day they entered that storm to chase the enemies. He felt that during those days, something seemed amiss, but he thought it was due to the possible threats ahead.
"His Majesty wants to reward you for your job and wishes to know what you want as a reward," Laiex said.
"I don\'t want anything," Zaos said. "But if I need to receive something for the sake of appearances, a focus amulet will do fine."
"All right," Laiex said and then left.
Zaos didn\'t need anything from the royal family. After all, when he needed them to help his mother, the king said no to his research, and he had to start from the total scratch… if only the king had decided to help…
"No, I can\'t think that way…" Zaos shook his head. "I am to blame for my own failures. Nothing good will came from blaming others right now for mom\'s death."
Zaos wasn\'t completely fine, but he couldn\'t keep crying forever. His mother wouldn\'t want to see him depressed forever as well. Although he failed his mother, she will probably feel proud of him if he keeps doing his best. After he finished his training, Zaos looked at the tombstone, and then he looked to the sky. He had a mission in that world, and once he completes it, he was sure that he will have the chance to go to the same place where she was… wherever it might be.